- Keep your personal information private
- Only add friends you know in real life
- Set your profile and blog to private
- Use a nickname that doesn’t identify your location, gender, or age
- Alter your pictures and videos before you post them to remove identifying information
- Profile and photo share only with people on your friends list
- Don’t post your plans or whereabouts on your site
- Ignore harassing or rude comments posted on your profile
- Never post sexually provocative photos
Find more at NSTeens.org
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Know the danger signs-these can include: spending lots of unsupervised time online; having pornography on his or her computer or wireless phone; hiding the screen or shutting it off quickly when adults are near; receiving mysterious gifts or packages; and becoming withdrawn from family or classmates.
- Talk openly with the child about your suspicions; tell them about the dangers of computer-sex offenders.
- Review the contents of the computer or phone. If you don’t know how, ask a friend, coworker, or other knowledgeable person.
- (Parents/guardians) Monitor access to electronic communications-chat rooms, instant messages, phones and e-mail.
- (Teachers) Raise your Concerns with the child’s parent/guardian.
- Contact your local or state law enforcement agency and the. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. ’s CyberTipline at cybertipline.com.
If you suspect a child has received a sexual solicitation or pornography, keep the computer or phone turned off in order to preserve any evidence for law enforcement use. Don’t attempt to copy any of the images and/or text found on the computer.
Adapted in part from A Parents Guide to Internet Safety, developed by the FBI and the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
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Gary Brill, father of this issue’s Youth Voices columnist Madison, has some tips for parents, based on his own experience living with an Internetsavvy kid.
Would you read your child’s diary, listen in on their phone conversions, or follow them when they leave the house to see what they were doing? With today’s computers and technology, you can do these things and more. You can easily read your child’s e-mails, monitor their Instant Messages, view their internet history, check their MySpace or Facebook pages, read their Blogs-you can even go as far as tracking their movement with a GPS in their phone.
The BIG question is: should you? Most of us live in homes where children know as much or more than their parents about computers. Should a parent be fearful of what they don’t know? Is it fair to the child to have stricter rules just because the parent is not computer literate?
Here are some tips for parents/ guardians and other adults:
- Ask yourself, what did my parents do? What were the consequences of my behavior? Bring this luggage to the table, discuss it with your kids.
- If you are not computer literate, learn or ask other parents. It should be one of the most topical conversations you have with other parents.
- Get involved early with your child, and listen when they ask for additional privileges. Don’t make them fearful to have an open conversion with you.
- Learn from your children. If they ask to do something you’re not familiar with, go online and learn. Ask your child if you can talk to other friends who are doing what your child wants to do. Speak to their parents.
- Test the waters with a trail period. Tie the additional privileges to doing more chores around the house; take the privileges away if they don’t behave. Remember, just because you agreed to one request, doesn’t mean you have to agree to the next.
- Be proactive; when you read about a new computer trend ask your child about it. The old adage is true: trust works both ways. If you constantly accuse your child of doing something they have not done, they may eventually feel compelled to just go ahead and do it if they’re being blamed for it anyway. (Does that logic ring any bells from your childhood?)
- Gary Brill lives with his family in New York City
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With the right guidance and open lines of communication with trusted adults, teens can keep themselves safer online, says Madison Brill, a 13-year-old who prides herself on her online savvy and independence.
First of all, the Web is not the only place you need to be careful in this electronic world; you have to make sure you’re protected when you use an instant message program such as AIM, MSN, or iChat on a computer or wireless phone. Most early teens use these services as much or more than telephone calls to connect. It’s one of the easiest ways to communicate and talk to friends-and on the surface, you may not realize you are putting yourself at risk when you are IMing someone.
A friend of mine got an IM from someone she did not know. Her first reaction was to ask who this person was. They did not respond, but tried to start a different conversation. The next thing my friend did was IM me and ask for my advice.
“Block the person on AIM and make sure they don’t bother you again,” I told her. I also told her that she should tell her parents-because even though it didn’t turn out to be a big situation, I think it’s important to tell someone about it and how you handled it, in case it happens again.
Online safety is a really serious matter, but teens can monitor themselves very easily and quickly, with help from parents and teachers. I feel there are three simple rules for early teens to check their Internet Safety, whether they’re on the Web or IMing. (These are true for adults too!)
1. Check the site’s background.
Sites like Facebook or MySpace are commonly used and have good reputations, but other sites will require you to learn more about what they offer and who normally participates in the site before you join it.
2. Protect your personal information.
How secure are you on the Website, and is it a public site or private site? If you put personal information on these sites, will they protect this information from getting out to just anyone?
3. Check your permission.
Are you allowed to be using this site? Most early teens are hesitant to ask parents because they think the answer will be no! They want to be able to decide things for themselves-but it’s important that your parents know what you’re doing because you may not be aware of all the dangers.
Many kids feel pressured to be part of a social network site because they want to be “in” with their friends-but they don’t think about how dangerous some of these sites can be. Like everyone, I’ve heard the stories about scary adults trying to get in contact with kids. You roll your eyes at these stories, thinking, “This won’t happen to me,” and that you won’t be stupid enough to post personal information or pictures. But as you get more involved in these sites, you can begin to convince yourself that it will be perfectly safe to add something else, something small like, let’s say, your cell phone number. Things can eventually get out of hand and you don’t realize how much information you have allowed others to see.
Know Who You’re Talking To
Teens need to know that if they have an account with social networking sites, blogs, forums, or IM providers, they should always be careful about whom they talk to-and even more careful about who they share personal information with.
Don’t Take Chances
There will be times someone you don’t know may message you or leave you a comment. When this happens, ask a friend or a family member you are close to. I sometimes test the person. See if they know people you know. See if they are familiar with the schools in your area. Can they name teachers you can check up on?
Tell Someone
If any of the answers to your questions don’t sound right, notify someone for your own safety. If a person keeps sending you things and it becomes more a problem, it is time to tell your parents or even your school. Never be scared to speak out about it, because even if you might get in trouble for visiting or using a Web page you are not supposed to, you’re keeping yourself safe and unharmed.
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Madison Brill is a 13-year-old seventh grader in New York City
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If adults want to learn how to connect with kids and help them be safer online, we need to understand what really matters to them-and keep the lines of real-world communication open.
By middle school, most children have an online life, which means everything they do in the real world-learn, hang out, chat, and even bully-they can do online as well.
Social Networking is growing in popularity. About 71 percent of teens have created a profile on a social network site, up from 61 percent last year, according to the 2007 Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave II by Cox Communication and the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Sites like MySpace and Facebook log millions of repeat visits each day.
So what exactly is the draw for kids who spend hours a day browsing other people’s profiles and stay up late designing their own?
For Emily, a freshman in high school in Virginia, social networking offers a glimpse into the lives of her peers, and a way to stay up on the newest trends. “People post their favorite colors, what music they’re listening to-it’s just fun to see what other people are into,” she says. Translation: teens like learning about other teens to find out what’s in and what’s out. Social networking is a way to get that information on a daily basis.
Social networking sites may be to today’s youth what tree houses, forts, or phones were to us: a place where kids can get away from their parents, be themselves, or pretend to be somebody else. For adults, understanding the reasons kids use these sites is an important first step in helping kids make safer, smarter choices online.
The Feeling of Being Liked
Tayler, a Washington State senior in high school, says she checks her profile frequently. “It’s that feeling of excitement that comes from seeing I have a message or comment waiting for me to read. It’s the feeling of being liked, I guess.”
For many young people, social networking can be an emotionally satisfying experience. When they leave comments or messages on friends’ pages, they usually get one in return, and it reinforces feelings of friendship and popularity. This can be especially powerful for shy youth, or those who feel uncomfortable or disconnected in social situations.
“I just moved here and don’t know that many people yet, so Facebook helps me keep in touch with my cousins and friends back home,” says 14-year-old Alec from Maryland.
Real Benefits, Real Consequences
Social networking is a tool to communicate with friends both near and far. It can also promote creativity and self-expression, sharpen communication and writing skills, and provide kids an opportunity to develop a personal identity and share it with others.
Online relationships can help kids overcome difficulties they might be having, whether it’s teenage angst or a more serious issue. There is always someone to talk to online, and the lack of face-to-face contact can make kids more comfortable opening up to others.
But this is where the slippery slope begins-who are these “friends” they are opening up to? Do they know them in real life? Recognizing and addressing the potential risks can help make social networking a safer experience for children.
Simple Steps to Safety
Friends lists. Many kids feel that their friends list is a reflection of their popularity, so they add people they don’t really know in order to gain status. Privacy settings can keep strangers from accessing profiles-but if kids add people they don’t know as their friends, they’re giving away access to personal information. Teach them to have a “friend policy” and not to add people they don’t know in real life to their friends lists.
Blogs. The term comes from “Web log” and refers to a journal or personal essay, an online diary of sorts. Blogs are popular with kids, and most social networking sites have space to create a blog. Unfortunately, not everyone reading about a child’s personal feelings, frustrations, and dreams has the best intentions in mind. Predators can use a child’s insecurities or ambitions to bond with the child, and potentially coax him or her into an in person meeting.
A good rule of thumb for a teen: if you don’t want just anyone reading your journal or diary, it shouldn’t be posted online.
Photos and videos. According to the Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave II, 64 percent of teens post photos or videos of themselves. Often, kids don’t realize that they’re inadvertently putting themselves at risk with the images they post online-street signs, a license plate in the background, or a school name can give away a child’s location. Kids are also posting sexually provocative or inappropriate pictures of themselves to “be adult” or get attention. They may not realize that anyone can save their picture and use it to exploit or embarrass them. Kids should never post a picture that they wouldn’t want posted around their school for anyone to see.
The bottom line: keep talking. That same survey found that children whose parents talk to them about online safety are more likely to exhibit responsible online behavior. Real-life consequences can be serious; let’s help kids avoid the potential risks of social networking by opening up the lines of communication.
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Candace Bahk is the Content Manager for the NetSmartz Workshop with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
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In this, our debut issue, we’re focusing on social networking. More than17 million youth ages 12 to 17regularly use the Internet-and of these, more than half (55 percent) use social networking sites like MySpace or Facebook, according to the Pew Internet & American Life Project. The good news is online interactionsrarely turn into real-world criminal incidents, according to the FBI. Most young people know about staying safe online-and most take precautions to keep their profiles safe, according to Pew. Still, most kids admit that a “motivated person” could eventually identify them based on their profiles.
What is Social Networking? A social networking site is a Website that lets users create their own pages and user profiles, post information, pictures and videos, and interact with each other-sort of like a big party in cyber space where you can search for people according to their interests and other criteria and start up an online conversation. We’re also including instant messaging (IM), mobile phone texting, and email lists under the social networking umbrella; they too have an incredible reach among young people, allow instant connection and interaction, and carry many of the same risks as the Websites. As this month’s Youth Voices writer Madison Brill told us: “When I and my friends say Internet, we mean not only Websites, but also e-mail, IM, and [mobile] phones.”
The Benefits and the Risks? These instant-interaction technologies can have tremendous benefits. Schools are increasingly using social networks in lessons, for clubs, and to reach students and parents. For shy or socially awkward young teens, these technologies can help them feel connected to their peers. But they also carry potential risks. The number of documented cases of online interactions turning into real-life predatory contact is small but may be growing.
What’s An Adult to Do? Children are often better versed in these technologies than their parents, guardians, and teachers, which can be intimidating. But helping kids get the skills they need to stay safer online is part of the job of being a parent, a teacher, or a school technology officer. Adults need to inform themselves so they can interact positively, and avoid reactionary or fear-based approaches that narrow the lines of communication.
bNetS@vvy is here to help. In this and future issues, we want to offer tools to help adults and young teens engage in activities together to demystify technology and learn from each other. We’re counting on you to make this a vibrant resource for your home and school. We want to hear from you-share your stories, contribute a column, ask the experts, and let us know what’s on your mind!
- Caitlin Johnson, Editor in Chief and Paul Sathrum, Senior Project Coordinator
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I resisted joining Facebook for a long time – I just didn’t see the point. Why did I need to write on my friends’ Facebook “walls,” when I could just email or phone if I needed to get in touch? Did I really want to be “out there” in cyberspace for all to see, my personal relationships, photos, and thoughts on Internet display? And besides, did I even have time to keep up with all of the Facebook chitchat and minutia?
Lately, though, I’ve been rethinking my relationship to social networking sites like Facebook, in part because of pieces like this one by Farjhad Manjoo in Slate: “You Have No Friends: Everyone Else is on Facebook. Why Aren’t You?“. Manjoo addresses nearly all of my objections to joining the site, and argues convincingly for the benefits of being a Facebook “friend.” The more I see that Facebook is being used for professional purposes, by legislators and business leaders alike, the more I want to get connected.
And though my son is too young to be social networking online, I can understand why many parents are joining Facebook for its personal benefits (although apparently the kids of these parents are less than thrilled that their folks are finally, laboriously, cluing in to social networking.
Of course no sooner do I start to embrace Facebook’s virtues than I run into news that gives me pause, like this one about “imposters” on Facebook, or this one about the professional etiquette considerations that Facebook raises. Still I’m willing to give this Facebook thing a try – yup, jumping on the train about five years after it left the station. Maybe in five more years I’ll finally try texting and Twittering.
Lisea Lark, 13, talked with bNetS@vvy about some of the ways she and her friends use technologies, why social networks and cell texts have won out over email, and what she does to keeps herself safer online.
You mentioned that you and your friends recently switched from MySpace to Facebook. Why switch, and how do you get everyone to do it together?
MySpace just lets you have a profile, but Facebook connects you to schools around your area, so we’ve switched to be connected more with other schools. You can either message people or comment them. There are lots of things you can do. You can draw pictures for them or take quizzes and stuff to see if you and your friends have the same likes and dislikes.
How it works is, you join a network-your school or town-and then you can upload pictures and write your profile and share stuff. You can invite people to join. But you have to be careful. There’s not a sure way to know that people who message you are who they say they are.
I set my profile to private so that only my friends can see them.
How much time do you spend on these sites?
I use it more during the summer. During the school year, maybe 30 minutes a day. My mom gives me an hour limit during the week, and two hours on weekend. My dad doesn’t have a limit at his house, but he makes me finish my homework before I can get on the computer for fun.
Have you met people in real life that you met on a social networking site?
You can never be 100 percent sure who you’re talking to online. I haven’t ever met someone from online, or been approached, but I have gotten to know some kids better before meeting them in person. Like my best friend … one of my friends knew her and said I should add her to my friends list. So I did and got to know her better. Now she’s one of my best friends.
In general, how much do you worry when you’re online or using your cell phone?
I’m careful but I don’t worry too much, really. If someone requests to be my friend [on a social networking site] and I don’t know who they are, I’ll sometimes ask to see if they’re connected to someone I know or are friends of my friends. If I don’t know them, I always block them.
What about when you accidentally go to an inappropriate Web site? What do you do?
It hasn’t happened to me, but it has happened to a lot of people at my school. They’re researching projects and weird pages come up. They tell the teacher or the librarian.
At school, they talk to us a lot about technology. We have a Technology Code of Conduct that we sign at the beginning of each year, where we promise to only use computers for educational purposes.
Do you use the Internet a lot for school?
We do. Pretty much every project or report does require a computer so the kids that don’t have computers are kind of out of luck.
I use Google a lot, but also my school district Web page because it has a list of sites that are good for different subjects and researching.
It’s hard to know if a site is reliable. I’ve learned the first thing to do is check the spelling. If there are errors, it’s probably not a good resource. And also don’t just get your information from one site, compare between a few and see if they say the same thing. At the bottom of the page, you can usually see when a site was last updated, and that’s good to check sometimes, too.
Do you use email?
I’ve had my own e-mail since before first grade, but I don’t use it much anymore. I use it with family because they don’t have MySpace or Facebook, but my friends use MySpace and Facebook to communicate, or we text on our phones.
Can you have cell phones at school?
We can-as long as our teachers don’t see them. We can’t have them out or anything. I keep mine on vibrate but most kids turn it off or put it on silent. We don’t really use it to talk to each other in school; it’s more for texting or calling our parents when someone forgets something.
Anyone ever had problems with bullying texts, sometimes called “flames”?
Yeah, one bad thing is you’re not sure who’s ‘talking’ or if it’s really that person. Some of my friends have gotten into fights when someone else has stolen the phone and texted something weird. A lot of people borrow other people’s cell phones or ask to look at the phones, so it happens often. I try not to let people use my cell phone to avoid that.
What would you say to an 8-year-old who’s just starting to use the Internet and email for the first time?
Be careful. Make sure you don’t talk to strangers, just like in real life. And remember that nothing is secret online. Any email you send someone can be forwarded and copied, and you might not want that. Don’t say anything you don’t want.
On the Internet, make your search as detailed as possible, because if you type in “American Girl doll” you’ll get a lot of things you probably wouldn’t want to. At that age, I’d say ask your parent to help you.
What advice would you give parents?
I would say it depends on the age. With younger kids, there’s so much bad stuff on the Internet, parents should help them if they’re researching a project. But with older kids, I think parents sometimes overprotect their kids, and sometimes that’s good-but not always.
For example, sometimes the time limit is hard if I’m researching a project, but my Mom is lenient on that and lets me get on her AOL account if I need to finish something.
Are you saying that because your Mom is in the room, by any chance?
Um, she is.
Lisea Lark is a 13-year-old eighth grader who attends a public middle school in Columbia, SC.
By Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach and John Norton
How do teachers, schools and districts balance concerns about Internet safety with the need to help students tap into the World Wide Web’s powerful learning technology? We’ve been working as consultants with some forward-thinking Alabama schools and districts that are determined to find the answer.
“The Internet can seem pretty frightening to cautious educators,” says one high school teacher who participated in a two-year 21st Century Schools project supported by the Alabama Best Practices Center and funded by Microsoft Partners in Learning.
“In my school,” she told us, “teachers are afraid that if they let students use the Web in class, they’re going to access inappropriate material and the teacher is going to be held responsible.”
“There’s a fear factor involved at the district level, too. Some administrators are worried that something really bad will happen that somehow involves the Internet, and the school system may be liable.”
Filters that Do the Job Too Well
In fact concerns about Internet safety can lead to district policies that make it very difficult for classroom educators to fully integrate web tools and resources into their lesson plans. District technology directors may opt for a “safety first” approach in response to the concerns of superintendents and school boards – whom many IT leaders see as their primary clients.
In these instances, system firewalls and content filters are so tight or so unpredictable that teachers can’t be sure which websites and tools will be reachable – or when. And no teacher is going to integrate technology-infused lessons into the daily classroom experience when there’s a good chance they won’t come off.
As the national debate grows around the need to address 21st Century skills, some school districts are adopting or considering a “layered” approach that offers teachers higher levels of Internet access and then scales down access for high, middle and elementary students. This frequently requires a revamp of the existing technology infrastructure to allow for multiple password systems and layered filtering.
Creating a “Web Wading Pool”
Some districts are building “intranet” systems, which allow students and teachers to use a collection of social networking tools (blogs, wikis, podcasts, discussion boards) within a closed and relatively more secure Web-like environment.
It’s true that self-assured teachers can feel constrained in such an environment by the lack of access to the latest interactive software and the vast collaborative potential of the World Wide Web. But other less intrepid educators may be more willing to experiment with technology integration in a closed environment – what one teacher described to us as “the Web wading pool.” Smart districts, including Alabama’s Trussville City Schools, are looking at ways to offer teachers both Internet and intranet options.
Building Net Safety into the Curriculum
Perhaps the most common evolutionary change taking place in school districts is the move to increase training for both students and teachers on the responsible use of the Internet.
Some IT people may worry that teachers won’t have the tools or skills to keep things safe, according to one school district technology director we interviewed. He believes that well-designed Internet safety curriculum and training programs (iSafe, Web Wise Kids, and NetSmartz are examples) can help alleviate those concerns.
Teachers at Wrights Mill Elementary School in Auburn, Alabama, are integrating some of the iSafe curriculum ideas into their own program for students.
“We got very interested in the safety issue last year when we became excited about blogs and wikis and then discovered that all the sites we went to were blocked by our filter,” says Wrights Mill media teacher Jennifer Dempsey.
“Because of this, we started a dialogue with our IT people and some good lines of communication have been opened up. They have concerns about safety and liability, and we want to access the good stuff for our kids.”
Sending Students on “Web Quests” for Safety
The Wrights Mill teachers developed a webquest, “Safely Surfing Cyberspace,” aimed at third through fifth graders. The teachers grabbed their students’ attention with a dramatic opening to the activity:
The Committee Against Kids Using Computers (CAKUC) has determined that the Internet is too dangerous for children. They want to outlaw the use of computers for all children under the age of 12. Can you believe it?!
The safe-surfing project not only leads students through an analysis of Internet safety information gleaned from a variety of websites, it makes the learning “sticky” through hands-on activities in which students produce a PowerPoint (3rd), a podcast (4th) or a movie (5th). Students also take a test at the PBS Kids website that can earn them an “Internet driver’s license.”
Dempsey says her principal and faculty believed that “by bringing our students through a safety program, we could show our district that we deserve access to the great (web tools) that are out there, and at the same time we could give students important skills they need to stay safe online.”
“The kids know so much more about the Web than we think they do,” Dempsey says. “And the Web is here to stay. It’s my hope that responsible, safe online behavior can become so ingrained in the elementary school that the issues of cyberbullying and Web predators in the upper grades eventually become non-issues.”
Sheryl Nussbaum-Beach has been an elementary teacher and school- and district-based technology coach. She now helps teachers in the U.S. and abroad refocus their teaching around 21st century skills (read her blog at http://21stcenturylearning.typepad.com/blog/).
John Norton is an education writer and developer of virtual learning communities for educators, including www.middleweb.com. He and Nussbaum-Beach are co-authors of book on digital technologies and inquiry-based learning that will be published by Eye on Education in 2008.
Technology can be a boon for struggling readers and students with different learning styles. Here’s a look at how computers are helping one Virginia third grader, and how her family is preparing for the wired world ahead.
Caroline, a third grader in Alexandria, Virginia, struggles with reading comprehension and spelling. Although she’s strong in other subjects, she reads below grade level, shows signs of dyslexia, and her handwriting skills lag behind those of her classmates.
At the end of second grade, during a meeting to set Caroline’s Individual Education Plan (IEP)-which outlines the learning goals and approach for students who receive special services-one of her teachers suggested that she start using a computer to improve her reading comprehension, spelling and grammar.
“She turned to us and said, ‘Since she’s learning typing next year, let’s incorporate that into the IEP next year,’” says Marie. “We had no idea that third graders would start to learn typing.”
Typing class is part of the school district’s formal technology integration plan, designed to introduce students to the technology they will likely need as adults-and it set Caroline and her family on their own version of a technology integration plan.
Since starting third grade, Caroline has been using Microsoft Word to do her homework. She uses it with the auto-correction function turned off, so misspelled words are highlighted and underlined, but not automatically fixed. When she finishes a thought or paragraph, she can go back and look at the words she misspelled, and focus on those.
She practices for spelling tests by typing in her spelling words and then checking to see which are underlined with the familiar red squiggle indicating a misspelling.
“I think it’s a good idea, partly because she learns in a visual fashion; if she can see it or hear it, it’s mentally digestible, especially with abstract concepts like decoding words. Having it represented on a screen will speed up the process,” says Edward, who knows his daughter’s struggles first-hand: he labored for years with what he suspects is undiagnosed dyslexia.
Like many students, Caroline’s reading delays have taken a toll on her confidence. “She constantly compares herself with her friends and finds herself lacking, saying things like, ‘Amanda’s the smartest girl in class because she can read a chapter book.’ She never compares herself to anyone in math class, never worries about science or social studies or math because she’s succeeding in them,” says Marie.
Marie and Edward think that e-mail-the next stop on their technology journey-could help. “We’re looking for more opportunities to have a clear incentive to read, and a message from a friend or her grandparents seems like a good reward for doing the work,” says Edward.
Safety Considerations
Now that they’ve opened the door to computers and technology, Caroline’s parents are exploring ways to help her stay safer online. They’ve already begun talking about whether she should have her own email address, rather than use her Mom’s-she’s not pushing for her own yet, because few of her friends have email accounts-and whether to tell her that they’ll read her messages.
For now, Caroline doesn’t have a wireless phone, but when she reaches middle school, they may get her one so they can coordinate rides to and from school and activities. They’re already looking into renewing their plan as a family plan, to add a line for Caroline.
In fact, Edward and Marie are beginning to have a whole series of discussions about keeping Caroline safer online. They let us sit in on one of their talks-see the accompanying conversation [if on diff. page, please note].
Preparing for the Future: Edward and Marie’s Checklist [Can be in a box]
- Slowly introduce new technologies to their children, and help familiarize them with the uses and risks
- Talk with other parents about tech safety
- Look into Web and email filters, and discuss each other’s philosophies about what and how to monitor online activities
- Check out child-friendly search engines, such as KidsClick, a site used by librarians
- Set up the free key logger program to track computer activity and record IMs
- Keep the computer in the living room, where it’s visible, laptops are off limits to the kids
- Wireless phones are like “walking computers”-explore family plans and phone feature controls, so that’s ready to go when Caroline needs a phone
- Investigate supplemental parental control services for wireless phones, such as DisneyMobile, RADAR: Your Kids’ Mobile Watchdog, or Verizon’s Chaperone Service, to name just a few; these typically cost $10 a month and can limit and track activity
*To respect their daughter’s privacy, they asked to use only their middle names.
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How Much, and How Soon? A Parents’ Discussion
Edward and Marie let us sit in as they discussed their technology safety plan and approach as their third grader, Caroline, begins to use computers.
Marie: We should sit down with Caroline and teach her about search engines and how to do safer searches. We’ve also got to bookmark the sites she uses so she can go there without hitting any strange sites. And we need filtering software. Wow. She’s growing up fast.
Edward: There are points of vulnerability in things I never even dreamt of, like the X Box and PlayStation where you have the ability to chat with other people, and the small hand-held gaming devices like GameBoy that have WiFi and texting built in. Adults have used those to approach kids, which blew my mind. I never would have thought of that. How do you begin to get a handle on that without taking it away?
Marie: We’ve got to find a balance between liberty and control. No one thing is going to be enough; we need a combination of approaches and it’s still not going to be foolproof.
Edward: With e-mail, one option is to create a sub-account and actually set it to upload her emails on our Outlook, so if there’s any activity it’ll show up on our Outlook. Do we tell her that it’s showing up on our e-mail accounts or do we keep it quiet? Marie’s in the camp of “tell her.”
Marie: I don’t want to start with deception, she’s going to rebel against us sometime…
Edward: So we could set up the account but not the auto-preview to us, and if we have suspicions, we activate that.
Marie: And she can have her own password but if she changes it without telling us, the account gets shut down. We’ll check it, probably daily, and if we see anything that seems uncomfortable or deceptive, we’ll address it.
Edward: For IM and the Web, I found a keystroke logger software for parents who want to make sure their kids aren’t IMing in inappropriate ways. It’s a background stealth program that saves IMs as a text file and sends it to you. That’s more extreme, but if we’re getting worried about things outside email, it’s an option. Trust but verify.
Marie: It’s one of these things where, e-mail: no problem, that’s easy to control, but she’s going to find out about IM, Facebook all these things. So do I open the door slowly so she sees it and gets comfortable and builds up a relationship of trust with me, or pretend it doesn’t exist?
Edward: Since we have WiFi at home, we can run the key logger program on the family computer and have it send data to another computer-that way, we can log on from wherever and check the files, even from the office.
Marie: I have no problem with the keystroke logger running and not telling the kids, but I do have a problem with uploading her email to ours.
Edward: Yeah, I see the difference there, but I think we need to install the keystroke program. I’ll show you how to log on remotely.
Marie: (laughs) So I can find out where you’re surfing now too!
Edward: (laughs) Prepare to be very bored.
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“I have encountered several students with Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) that grant the student the right to use a word processing program for their writing assignments. This is an accommodation that can help address issues such as handwriting legibility, speed of writing, or other fine motor skill deficits.
I have two classroom computers (both about 10 years old), and my students frequently ask to use the computers to type papers, check email, surf or play games. For students who have limited motivation to complete class assignments, the computer can be good reward for completing assignments quickly and thoroughly.
Any time a student requests permission to use a computer, we specifically discuss the task they intend to complete. This makes it easier for me to monitor their safety, as I can walk by them and see if the content on the monitor reflects this stated purpose.”
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John Staubitz is a special education teacher in Santa Monica California, who teaches a “Special Day Class” for students with emotional or behavioral disorders. He has worked with students in grades 3 through 12.
