Many students are heading back to school for the 2010 – 2011 school year and our friends at Facebook want to share a few tips on how to remain safe online. See their safety tips below for parents, teens and educators:
Tips for Parents from the Facebook Safety Advisory Board
WiredSafety. Get to know your teen’s online friends, just as you would get to know their friends in everyday life. Talk to your children about where they go online, and who they talk to. Guide them as they select their privacy settings and who they accept as friends on social networks. Make sure the only ones on their friends list are people they know in real life.
ConnectSafely. Try to get your kids to share their profiles and blogs with you, but be aware that they can have multiple accounts on multiple services. Use search engines and the search tools on social-networking sites to search for your kids’ full names, phone numbers and other identifying information. You’re not invading their privacy if they’re putting personal info in public “places” online. If their pages are private, that’s a good thing, but it’s even better if they share them with you.
Common Sense Media. Help kids think long term. Everything leaves a digital footprint. If they don’t want to see it tomorrow, they’d better not post it today. It’s up to kids to protect themselves by thinking twice before they post anything that could damage their reputation or that someone else could use to embarrass them.
The Family Online Safety Institute. Talk with your child about Internet safety as soon as he/she begins using the Internet. It is never too early to start discussing the importance of being a good digital citizen. Teach your child the importance of never sharing their passwords with anyone, including friends.
Childnet International. Encourage kids to use the net to reinforce their interests. Just as you might look out for good TV programs for teens, take the time to find the best and most useful websites for you and your family.
Back to School Safety Tips for Teens from Facebook
Think twice before you post. Remember that what you post today could last a long, long time. Even if you take something down yourself, others may have copied and saved it.
Keep your passwords private. Don’t share your passwords with anyone, not even your friends, and make sure they are really strong ones combining numbers, letters and symbols.
Be a good friend online. Just like in real life, don’t spread rumors or talk trash about people. If you see someone being bullied or harassed, stand up for them and tell an adult.
Don’t talk to strangers. You’ve been hearing this forever, right? Well, the same rule applies online. People aren’t always who they say they are.
Know how to report the bad stuff. Facebook has reporting links throughout our site, on virtually every page. Your report will be anonymous. Because we have a real-name culture, we rely on our users to be an extra set of eyes and ears and to watch for and report content that we’d want to remove.
Keep your parents in the loop. You may know more about Facebook than they do, so teach them how it works, get them to set up an account, and friend them! It may help them understand why social networking is important to you.
Facebook Tips for Teachers from Facebook
Teachers should make sure that you are in compliance with their school’s policies before opening an account. They should also notify parents and receive their permission before asking students to join Facebook. Explain to parents how exactly the tool will be used in the classroom, and make sure all students in your class are over 13.
Create Friend Lists.If you’re a teacher, you can create a Friend List called “students” and adjust your privacy settings to control exactly what your students will see. For example, you could allow students to see your basic information but not allow them to see your tagged photos or wall posts by your other friends.
Use Facebook ‘Groups’ for Engagement.You can create a Facebook Group for a course you’re teaching, or for a specific class project, and invite all of your students to join the group. This will provide a way for students and educators to discuss relevant topics on a platform students love. There is a ‘Discussion Board’ where students can share thoughts.
Share Rich Content.Use the Wall on the Facebook Group to share rich content such as news clips, interesting articles, websites, videos, etc. You can ask your students to do the same!
Discuss Online Safety.Teach your students about appropriate online behavior, including keeping passwords private, never talking to strangers online, and treating others respectfully. Tell them to visit Facebook’s Safety Page for best safety practices (www.facebook.com/safety).
Know Your Resources.Get up to the minute, dynamic content especially for teachers at the Facebook in Education Page (www.facebook.com/education), and check out safety advice for teachers in the Facebook Safety Center (www.facebook.com/safety).
May 25, 2010 marks the 27th anniversary for National Missing Children’s Day. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) hopes to raise awareness for missing and exploited children with their Take 25 campaign. The goal of the campaign is to encourage parents and educators to take just 25 minutes to talk to children about safety.
With a focus on prevention, Take 25 provides communities with free safety resources including safety tips, conversation starters, and engaging activities. Take 25’s resources are available free of charge and can be found at local Take 25 events.
In 2007, NCMEC joined forces with more than 100 local and national organizations to launch the Take 25 campaign. With the help of our partner organizations, more than 375 Take 25 child safety events were hosted in communities across the United States and abroad. While this was a great achievement for the first year, the Take 25 campaign has continued to grow each year, reaching 737 events in 2008 and 1,335 events in 2009.
As a NCMEC partner, bNetS@vvy promotes the safety of children across the nation and encourages parents, guardians and educators to teach children about the dangers they may encounter day-to-day. Please take a moment to speak with a child in your life about how they can maintain their safety online as well as in person.
BnetS@vvy’s goal is to provide useful Internet safety resources to parents and educators, but more importantly we love to hear from tweens directly. See what two middle school girls from Washington, D.C. and New York City have to say about Sharon Cindrich’s, A Smart Girl’s Guide to the Internet.
Amori, age 11
A Smart Girl’s Guide to the Internet [by Sharon Cindrich] is a fact filled book that educates young girls about good and bad things that can happen to you or your computer. In the next few paragraphs I will share with you my experience reading the enthralling and lovely guide to the Internet.
I learned about acronyms like P.O.S. (Parent Over Shoulder), it stands for a protective parent. Generally parents are very protective of their children when their child is on the Internet. Every parent is a unique individual and has their own way of taking care of their child. Some parents use security software. Security software also protects your computer from viruses so your files aren’t destroyed. When this happens you have a fritz. Some parents may put filters on their computers to keep out horrible language and websites with bad reputations. Sometimes parents will monitor their computer so that they can see copies of their child’s e-mails and websites they’ve been to.
Not only are there bullies at your school, but they are also on the Internet. The bullies on the Internet are called cyberbullies. Cyberbullies can pretend to know you, threaten you or trick you. Whenever you receive an e-mail from someone you don’t know you shouldn’t respond. You should save the e-mail so that you can show an adult and see what they have to say about the message.
The computer is an excellent way to work on your homework, projects and book reports. With the computer you can research and discover thought-provoking and amazing facts online to help you with your work. I enjoyed A Smart Girl’s Guide to the Internet because it contains opinions and stories that happened in real life to young girls, just like me. It has taught me things I didn’t know about the Internet and corrected me on some things I was wrong about. I would recommend it because it keeps the reader interested to read more.
Eleanor, 14
Reading A Smart Girl’s Guide to the Internet was a lot of fun. It wasn’t too hard or too difficult to read. The writing was very clear and simple so younger age groups would be able to read the book easily. It was also really realistic. The facts and life examples were pretty up to date. For example, my mom still puts money on my lunch account when it gets low. That’s not something that would have happened a decade ago.
When the book introduced cyberbullying it was really helpful to see probable reasons to why someone would be bullied and examples of how cyberbullying can be expressed in different ways. It shows how to properly handle a situation when things go wrong on the Internet and how to solve the problem without regretting your decision. They even had the definition of tattling; to try to make someone look bad, and how it was different from trying to get help. I bet many girls have been caught in the middle of a bad situation and they wanted to help their friend, but they thought that they were tattling and just being a bully so they would hold back. Knowing that tattling is different than actually helping can make a girl feel more confident.
Even though I already knew most of the information in the guide, there were still a couple of things that I didn’t know like what was safe and what was a no-no on downloading and sharing music. A Smart Girl’s Guide to the Internet is a really good choice to help a girl be safe and smart online.
Imagine that you are sitting at your computer and stumble upon a site that gives you the ability to chat live with your friends, but your “friends” are actually strangers. Here’s how it works: the site matches you randomly with a complete stranger, with whom you can chat via web cam or instant message. You see and hear them as if they are right in front of you. Now imagine that you are a 14-year-old girl and that “friend” is a twenty-something- year- old couple engaged in inappropriate behavior. You click the button that says “next” and are randomly connected to a new stranger or friend and you see someone wearing a Halloween mask, maybe a little creepy but not too harmful. The next click takes you to a room and what you see is alarming and even shakes you up a bit: a man whose face is not within range of the computer, but is hanging from the ceiling with an over turned chair beneath his feet. What site would show such graphic, unsettling things? The site is called Chatroulette, or in netlingo, CR.
The site, created by 17-year-old Russian teen Andrey Ternovskiy, randomly connects you via webcam to a stranger anywhere in the world. The idea was sparked by his boredom with always chatting with the same friends.
At the top of each screen there is a next button that allows you to disconnect from your current partner and randomly connect with someone new. There’s a good chance of you getting “nexted” within the first few seconds of being connected if you’re not a cute girl willing to flash yourself or reveal something really interesting to the other party. When your partner no longer wants to talk to you and simply presses the next button you’ve been “nexted,” and randomly thrown back into cyberspace awaiting your next encounter.
Chatroulette isn’t just for bored students looking for something interesting to do. Celebrities like Paris Hilton, The Jonas Brothers, even Justin Beiber have been spotted on camera using CR. For others, Chatroulette has become an outlet for comedy. The following YouTube link shows a live concert held just a few weeks ago in Charlotte, NC where the artist connects to Chatroulette and performs impromptu songs with the random strangers he connects with.
ChatrouletteMap is a new program that utilizes information from the Chatroulette site and Google Maps. It pulls random video screen shots from users and plots a pinpoint on a world map based on the IP address. The pinpoint generally shows a screenshot of the Chatroulette user, a date and the city in which the IP address is recorded. New users don’t seem to be added in real time, but appear to be added in batches every few weeks.
What are the chances of your child’s photo being on the ChatrouletteMap site?Chatroulette Map is only a few months old and it is not clear how often or by what method screenshots for the map are grabbed. Because the video chats on Chatroulette are in real time, it would seem that chatters would have to be using Chatroulette during a time when the ChatrouletteMap administrators were grabbing screenshots for their map. Currently there are just over 3,000 ChatrouletteMap pinpoints and since Chatroulette boasts a million users a day, this may indicate that not every chatter’s screenshot will be posted.
Visit the Chatroulette Map site to see if you your child’s screenshot has been posted. ChatrouletteMap states that it will remove a posted picture if you send a request through email.
This website presents/provides an excellent opportunity to talk to your teen about the importance of staying safe and private. Chatroulette Map seriously compromises a user’s privacy. Teens need to understand that by participating in Chatroulette, their actions and image become public, not just to others playing the game. A screenshot may be taken without permission and posted publicly on the map, identifying their location.
While there is no way for someone to directly contact another chatter using Chatroulette Map, there is no question that this is identifying information. Depending on the accuracy of the IP address, some map points can connect a user’s photo down to a particular neighborhood.
Talk to kids about the site. Avoid being angry, frightened or panicked. Instead, explain your concerns and reinforce the dangers of connecting with strangers and giving out indentifying information. Teens have many opportunities to access these and other sites beyond their own home; however, engaging kids in conversations about appropriate behaviors online is the best way to help your child develop healthy online habits where ever they are.
In addition, parents can try these tips to deter access and help kids stay safe.
Make house rules. Lay down clear rules about your expectations when it comes to using the CR website and the Internet in general. Be clear about consequences for breaking the rules. When rules are broken, make sure to follow through with the consequences you have established.
Block access. You can block the Chatroulette site in your browser, using parental controls and even block the site in Windows. Parents can also disable the web cam on their computers if they are concerned about the computer users in the home and their ability to follow house rules. Directions on how to block sites can be found at www.ehow.com. However, keep in mind that talking to and educating kids is still necessary because they have access to computers outside of the home where Chatroulette may not be blocked.
Share information with others. Share the information you’ve gathered about Chatroulette and other concerning sites with your community so other parents, educators and community leaders are informed.
Start learning now. Chatroulette and Chatroulette Map are very new sites and are currently catching a lot of media coverage. Reading more about these sites will help parents understand how they relate to kids. Here are a few other facts, statistics and issues to get you started.
Even if you block Chatroulette, kids can see the content as captured on other sites that are cropping up online. Some show funny shots, others include nudity and suggestive themes.
Chatroulette started with about 10,000 visitors in December and now boasts 1 million new visitors a day. Chatroulette Map is currently mapped with just over 3,000 mapped points in a few months.
Statistics from several sources show that a vast majority of the visitors are male.
Chatroulette is not the only opportunity kids have to chat with strangers. ChatHopper.com is another video chat program that offers chatters an opportunity to connect with random chatters. Stickam (stickam.com), offers Stickam Shuffle – which works much like Chatroulette. Conversations about Chatroulette should include a reference to any other video chats that allow you to connect with strangers.
The big question is: Just how dangerous is Chatroulette? It is important for parents and teachers to understand the risks and serious dangers attached to sites like this. Not only can it be a playground for those preying on naïve teens, but it is also a breeding ground for cyberbullying. When using the internet it is very common for teens to act out of character or abnormally because they are “protected” by a screen and appear to be miles away. This only increases the likelihood of someone being a target of pornography or cyber bullying. Chatroulette only has three simple rules: you must be over the age of 16, no nudity and all users have the option to report those who may offend them. There is no monitoring system to ensure these rules are followed.
Chatroulette seems to be the NEXTed big thing for teens and young adults, even some children. Just imagine that your child could be on the other side of the screen.
Not surprisingly, their conclusion was: “The survey found that America’s young people aren’t receiving adequate instruction to use digital technology and navigate cyberspace in a safe, secure and responsible manner and are ill-prepared to address these subjects.
The survey also found: “Over three quarters of teachers have spent less than six hours on any type of professional development education related to cyberethics, cybersafety and cyber security within the last 12 months.” Further: “Seven in ten (69%) teachers feel that cyberethics, cybersafety and cybersecurity professional development is a priority.”
For those seeking such professional development, the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use is very pleased to announce that two professional development videos, with extensive handouts, are now available.
1) Cyber Savvy Teachers
Cyber Savvy Teachers is an approximately 2-hour Professional Development presentation, with 29 page presentation notes, that will provide teachers will a comprehensive research-based understanding of all aspects of digital media safety and responsibility. This presentation will prepare teachers to effectively teach these subjects using the student handout materials from CSRIU or any other research-based Internet safety curriculum. Additional resources, including a Scope and Sequence of Instructional Objectives and student handouts, are freely available on the above page.
2) Cyberbullying, Cyberthreats & Sexting
Cyberbullying, Cyberthreats & Sexting is an approximately 2-hour professional development video presentation, with 30 page notes, for principals, school counselors and psychologists, school resource officers, and educational technology personnel that addresses the concerns related to student online use that are most likely to directly impact schools. This presentation presents research on the issues, addresses legal issues, and provides guidance on effective investigation and intervention and a comprehensive prevention approach.
The pricing for these materials allows for individual users, a range of school/district sizes. University faculty and trainers can acquire the individual user materials and then pay for handout copies, hard copy or electronic, through the Copyright Clearance Center.
CSRUI’s overall framework for addressing these issuse, Cyber Savvy Schools, is on the home page at http://csriu.org.
Additional materials under development include; Youth Risk Online, Effective Internet Use Management in a Web 2.0 World, Web 2.0 in Schools: Legal Issues, and Digital Media Literacy.
For questions or comments, contact Dr. Willard via the following info:
Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
Nancy Willard, Executive Director
474 W 29th Avenue, Eugene, OR 97405
Cell Phone: 541-556-1145
Email: contact@csriu.org
Two typical kids, four years apart in age. What kind of role does social technology play in their lives? How do they stay safe online? bNetS@vvy editor Mary Esselman interviews her nephew age 15, and bNetS@vvy Teacher’s Desk contributor Paula White interviews her grandson, age 11.
Interview One: Michael E., 15 years old
Q: Tell me about the social technology you use — games, Facebook or other social networking sites, texting, other phone use, etc. A typical day involves what kind of online/mobile activity?
A: I use currently, and have used in the past, many social networking sites. Facebook is the best online social networking site in my opinion. Facebook allows you to look at pictures of your friends and write messages and comments to them. In one week, I will typically use Facebook at least two times.
I text my friends from my cell phone all the time, and I call people from my cell phone all of the time too. I use my phone more than any other technology. I wake up and will check my phone to see if I missed any alerts while I was sleeping. I am texting my friends almost every part of the day besides occasionally at school, and whenever I have sports. Texting passes the time better than any other thing. It is the most useful of the social networking devices in my opinion because you can use it anywhere.
I play games on my Xbox 360, my phone, and on the Internet. I frequently play on the Internet at school and not normally at home. I play on my phone sometimes when I am in a car or trying to pass the time.
On a typical day I will check my phone before I go to school and start texting a few of my close friends. When I get to school I will continue to text them. During my computer class I will get on the Internet and play video games on different websites. On days that I do get on Facebook, I will get on at night. After school I will continue to text my friends and call some of them too.
Q: Try to assess your use of social technology. Do you think it’s excessive? Do you think your behavior online is safe/risky?
A: I think that my use of these things is not excessive. Some of my friends do use their phones and the Internet excessively though. Some people spend their whole day online or using their phone. I use the Internet and my phone very safely. I only talk to people that I know.
Q: How do adults factor into your use of social technology? Do you feel you get Internet safety guidance at home and/or at school?
A: There are some parents that are clueless about Facebook and technology, like my mom. There are other parents, like my dad, who get into it and have technologies they use that are the same. My dad uses more social networking sites than I do, which is very weird might I add. Since he is very up to date with technology he keeps the technology I use safe and is a factor of what happens with me and my friends. He is my friend on Facebook and can see if anything strange or unusual is happening with my profile. Even though he is up to date with everything, I am very responsible and set my own guidelines for what I do with the technology I use. Most kids set their own rules because you can control most technologies to be very private if you don’t want people to see them.
Q:With summer coming will you have more time to indulge in social technology, and do you think it will be a problem or not?
A: This summer I do not think that I will use my phone anymore than I do now. I might play more games since I will have more time, but that is it.
Q: Any advice for parents and teachers/administrators in terms of how they might best guide kids towards safe online activity and behavior?
A: The only advice I have to parents and others is to make sure that kids aren’t starting any trouble using their technologies. Some kids start fights over Facebook, AIM (instant messaging), or texting. Make sure you know what they are doing and everything will be fine.
Interview Two, “John,” age 11
Q: Tell me what you know about social technology – for how long have you been “into” tech?
A: I don’t really know how to explain about tech I’ve been using it since I was like five.
Q: Your earliest tech memories?
A: My first iPod: I put videos on it. I remember it was white and it was a 30 gigabyte and I did not fill it up. I have more music, so I’ve already filled my 30 gig up.
Q: Who knows more about tech than you do?
A: I think I’m the smartest about technology in my group of friends. Probably grandma knows more than any one else in my life.
Q: How do you use tech to stay connected to your friends?
A: I play online game or I’ll email them or text them or call them.
Q: What’s the difference between a f2f [face to face] friend and an online friend?
A: F2F you can see them every day and talk to them about anything you want. Online, you can talk about the game and how it’s going.
Q: You play online games with Hunter, your f2f friend. How do you get along online?
A: We just joke around-no name calling we do is serious. I can tell if he’s, like, meaning it. You can hear voices kinda clear.
Q: Do you ever meet strangers online?
A: I don’t tell my names or address or phone number or anything else, cause they could be like, bad, or come to my house or something.
Q: Whose online safety rules do you follow?
A: My Mom’s.
Q: When the last time you talked to her about your online behavior?
A: Two nights ago-I told her I had a new friend online and she said don’t tell them your name, address, phone number or anything, and I said I know. On Zocom [an online game], it tells who is online, it warns you they’re online, and you can send friend requests. I sent him a friend request.
Q: Do you think your other friends’ moms talk to them about staying safe online?
A: I don’t know.
Q: Does your mom ever look at your cell phone?
A: Yes, once or twice a month. Mom and Dad check out my history-they trust me, but I guess just to make sure.
Q: Does your mom know your username and password?
A: Mom sets up accounts with me. I have to have her permission to set up one. She asks for my usernames and passwords
Q: What about Facebook – are you on that?
A: Mom won’t let me have Facebook.
Q: Over the summer, will your online use change?
A: Just more of it. Just connecting with friends, lots of different people.
Q: Do you text anyone you haven’t met?
A: I usually delete texts from people I don’t know.
Q: What tech games do you like to play?
A: Call of Duty, World at War, Call of Duty 3, Club Penguin.
Q: Tell me about wikispaces and how you use them.
A: With wikis you can talk to people and set up game sites. We used them at school. They were put up by educational sites like funbrain. We learned more about technology using wikispaces, and it helped us learn how to do stuff online. I’d rather set up a wiki on a book than do a book report. Because book reports you have to write by hand, and it’s faster on wikispaces.
Q: What online safety rules do you think kids should follow?
A: Don’t give your name address or phone number online. Get your parents’ permission before setting any online identity on things like Facebook and MySpace. No cussing online. You can take pictures [with your phone] but not what they call inappropriate ones. No texting at school
Editor’s Note: bNetS@vvy does not endorse any specific social technology products. The social technology sites and devices mentioned in this piece reflect the opinions and habits of the contributors only, not of bNetS@vvy or its sponsor.
bNetS@vvy is a proud outreach partner of the new PBS Frontline production “Digital Nation,” a documentary by filmmaker Rachel Dretzin (“Growing Up Online”). The documentary, airing Tuesday, Feb. 2 on PBS, explores, among other topics, the challenges of parenting in a digital age and the benefits of teaching with technology. It’s an exciting and informative film, backed up by dazzling online resources, including digital workshops for parents and educators. Without further ado, bNetS@vvy presents guest blogger Rachel Dretzin, on “parenting digital natives.”
Because I’ve spent the last three years making documentaries for PBS “FRONTLINE” about life in the digital age, I’m asked all the time what rules I have for my own three children when it comes to the internet.
The answer is… not many.
The more I look for answers about what we actually know about the effects of the online world on kids, the more I realize that we know virtually nothing. We’re at the very beginning of a gigantic social revolution that is transforming our minds, our hearts, and our families… and science hasn’t caught up yet. We don’t know how the internet is affecting our brains, or how much time online is too much time, or whether gaming is good or bad, or whether reading printed books will turn out to be essential in the 21st century. The answers just aren’t out there, and anyone who tells you that they are is lying.
Even the things that the so-called experts tell you to worry about as a parent are constantly changing. Three years ago, when I first started reporting this story, everyone was worried about predators. Kids unwittingly putting their personal information online, only to be snatched by stalkers who’d been tracking them for months. Kids lured into meeting a stranger who they’ve been duped into thinking is their age. Kids falling in love with a virtual friend who turns out not to be a friend at all.
But these days, most people tracking these things agree that predator danger has been vastly exaggerated. Now we worry more about other things: about cyberbullying, about our kids posting something on Facebook that will come back to haunt them, or about them playing so many hours of a video game that the rest of their life begins to fall apart.
In the course of making my latest FRONTLINE documentary, “Digital Nation,” I’ve spoken to college professors who bemoan their students’ habit of facebooking and googling during lectures. They talk about kids whose papers are constructed as a series of unrelated paragraphs that don’t have much to do with each other, because the kids got distracted while writing them. I’ve met young people who have more of a life in the virtual world than in the real one, and a 83-year-old woman who gained a new lease on life by creating an online cooking show. I’ve been amazed by what the digital world can give us, and terrified by what it’s capable of taking away.
Most importantly, I’ve watched these issues play out in my own life and the lives of my children. It’s getting harder to pay singular attention to each other, harder to switch off that buzz in our brains telling us to “check in” with our digital technology, whether it be phone or laptop or ipod. It’s getting harder to do one thing at a time when you have the option of doing eight. And it’s really hard to see the value of just being still.
I don’t want my kids to grow up in a world where there’s no time to push the pause button and reflect. And as a member of one of the last generations that remembers what life was like beforedigital technology, I see it as my duty to teach them the value of a certain kind of attention.
So instead of placing a bunch of arbitrary rules on my children’s use of technology, I talk to them. I talk to them about my own struggles to manage my relationship with my iphone and my laptop. I talk to them about my fears, but I don’t conceal the excitement I feel about all that technology is bringing to their lives.
Over the past year, we’ve posted clips and interviews on our website (www.pbsdigitalnation.org), and welcomed your contributions and feedback. Now, this coming Tuesday, February 2nd, we’re broadcasting the Digital Nation documentary on PBS. I’ll consider the film a success if people turn off the television after it’s done and argue with each other for an hour, or if they feel compelled to come online and share their opinions. After you watch next week, please come to the site and let us know your thoughts, or, your own experiences with digital life, by sharing a video or joining a roundtable discussion.
Feeling guilty about letting your child play computer games, watch TV, and use a smart phone? Trying to balance your concerns about safety with your desire to let your kids enjoy themselves (and your desire to get a break yourself)? Then check out the following.
The “Room for Debate” section of the New York Times features a panel of experts asked to respond to the recent Kaiser Family Foundation findings that children between the ages of 8 and 18 spend a daily average of more than seven and a half hours on electronic devices (computers, TV, wireless phones, etc.). The Times piece asks: “If American parents are distressed by these findings, why don’t they do anything to change their children’s behavior? Are they being inattentive, or even negligent? Or is the portrait of media overload more complicated yet less daunting than it seems?” Featured panelists include:
As parents and educators, many of us are aware of and concerned about the risks of social technology. Cyberbullying, sexting, privacy violations — these are all topics we cover frequently here at bNetS@vvy, topics that concern the safety and well-being of children.
But a recent New York Times article focuses on a social technology danger that affects adults and children, a risk so obvious that we don’t really think it: walking while talking or texting on a mobile device. According to the article, “The era of the mobile gadget is making mobility that much more perilous, particularly on crowded streets and in downtown areas where multiple multitaskers veer and swerve and walk to the beat of their own devices.”
Injuries from distracted walking are on the rise, says the Times, and young people in particular are most at risk. So give the article a read, make a mental note to add “distracted walking” to your list of potential social tech hazards, and make sure your child knows to put the mobile device away before walking (remind yourself as well).
Today’s cybersafety rule: look both ways — and put the mobile down — before crossing the street.
Summertime means vacations, time at the pool, and for today’s youth: time on the Internet and cell phone, often away from the eyes of parents and guardians. During the school year parents and teachers may disagree about whose job it is to educate children about how to be safe online, but in the summertime, it is clearly a parent’s job to keep his/her own children safe. As a teacher and the mother of a teen, tween, and eight year old, I try to give my children some freedom to roam, but I also set clear rules about online activity and behavior.
I have found, though, that many parents just “ask around” to make safety decisions without doing their research. With the Internet evolving daily, no one expert can provide everything needed to help children stay safe, so parents need to establish their own family “safety lines.” Safety lines are used in sports like rock climbing and bungee jumping to help keep the sportsman (or woman) tethered securely to a point of safety. When children jump into the wide world of social technology, this is what they need from their parents – a clearly delineated source of security and guidance. So let’s look at some guidelines for building a family summertime safety line:
1) Connect Yourself To Good Sources of Information
Fear sells. Too many books on Internet safety make me want to lock my children in their rooms with a book and throw away the key! I have found that parents who quote these books to their children often drive a wedge of misunderstanding and distrust between them and their children. Typically research shows at-risk teens offline are the ones exhibiting at-risk behavior online, but sometimes kids make mistakes out of ignorance. It is your job to help your child be educated!
There are some well-balanced sources of information that will help you give wise guidance and these should be on your pre-summer reading list. My favorite book on online safety is Look Both Ways by Linda Criddle, but you don’t have to buy the book to learn a lot. She has a great website at http://www.ilookbothways.com/. Your safety line should begin with reading Linda’s Checklist for Family Internet Safety.
If you prefer to watch videos, the site PBS Growing Up Online has some video that I use with older students. Although some may think this is a fearful approach, using and watching these videos with your older child will give you something concrete to talk about as you discuss Internet safety.
Join a group of parents like DigiParent a site that I work with, to communicate with parents about online safety.
2) Open The Communication Lines
I’ve found that different groups of children have preferences for websites. Find out the websites that your children like to use now, or ones that they want to begin using this summer.
Younger Children. I like to use websites with my eight year old like Woogi World and Build A Bear that will report to me when my child has reported someone else for bad behavior. When your child wants to use a new site, set it up with him/her and watch him/her play it at first. Talk to your child about the sites his/her “friends” are using. And most importantly, use the timer to set a time limit so your children do not become too sedentary. While you may enjoy eight hours of peace and quiet, that much of anything is not good for them!
Tweens and Teens. Agree with them that if they are going to use a profile-based service, they must set it up initially with you so that you can help them double-check their privacy settings. Some parents create a generic Facebook or MySpace account (set up in a way that won’t reveal to their child’s friends that it is a parent) and then friend their child just to keep an eye on things. Others just use the “over the shoulder” method. What ever method you use, make sure that you agree up front what is fair for each service, particularly if you have a teenager; otherwise you’ll be accused of spying.
My fourteen year old is not interested in Facebook yet, but is a heavy cell phone texter. We have discussions about appropriate use of photos and texting.
3) Harness Your Safety Precautions
When teenagers get their first car, every parent I know has “the talk” about keeping the car safe. Using your research and the unique situation of your child, come up with safety precautions and agreements with your child. This should include: how to report inappropriate behavior to both the service and to you; making friends; deciding which information they can and cannot share about themselves; setting a limited amount of time online; deciding on the location of computers (we don’t allow them in bedrooms in our house); and agreeing about how to handle online problems that they are having.
Most important this safety agreement should include your rules about meeting people offline that children have first met online. Although many frown upon this practice, as many as 25% of people getting married today met online first!! The Internet is their “mall” and where they go to meet people. While I am convinced that most people on the Internet are normal, good people, there are liars and thieves everywhere and they hide under the cloak of anonymity.
The best way to prepare your children for being cautious about meeting people they met online first is to discuss and share with them the stories of when such meetings went wrong. They will still want to meet people; parents should insist on accompanying children to such meetings, if parents allow the meetings to happen at all. We want children to understand the risks and responsibilities involved with meeting “cyber-friends” in “real life.” This is a lifetime behavior that you should teach now!
4) Beware of Privacy Wear & Tear
This generation is most in danger, not of strangers, but of losing their privacy. Electronic privacy is the greatest blind spot for today’s youth. For example, a substitute was in my class and my fourteen-year-old son went through my classroom network to message his friends. He didn’t realize that the message would also come to me!! The message was “I am bored in computer class.” Needless to say, I was not happy! He said, “But I didn’t mean to send it to you!”
Anything that is written, photographed, or recorded anywhere at any time can be published for hundreds of thousands to see. Things done as a teenager can keep a child from running for President or holding public office thirty years from now! Using this lesson, we sat down with our son and discussed the illusion of privacy. My husband said something that has stuck with me. He said, “Son, never write anything that you wouldn’t want to be on the front page of the Wall Street Journal the next day.”
These discussions best come from teachable moments and examples you see on the news. Privacy of photographs, Facebook, MySpace, instant messaging, and cell phone messages – it’s a complete illusion. Demonstrate and teach your children this from the moment they get on the Internet. Show them how easy it is to copy photographs! Help them understand that the best way to protect their privacy is to not publish or take certain photographs at all. Teach them to be vigilant of others who are taking photographs. I have had friends go on family vacation who noticed their child in a bikini being photographed strangely by a person. They asked the person to stop!! You have the right to ask people to stop.
Summer is a great time to build your safety line. These are things children need to know to be safe now but also so they can live productive lives in a digital age. Keep them safe now and for the rest of their lives.
Vicki Davis is a teacher in Camilla, Georgia, a mother of three, and a blogger at Cool Cat Teacher
