If adults want to learn how to connect with kids and help them be safer online, we need to understand what really matters to them-and keep the lines of real-world communication open.
By middle school, most children have an online life, which means everything they do in the real world-learn, hang out, chat, and even bully-they can do online as well.
Social Networking is growing in popularity. About 71 percent of teens have created a profile on a social network site, up from 61 percent last year, according to the 2007 Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave II by Cox Communication and the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Sites like MySpace and Facebook log millions of repeat visits each day.
So what exactly is the draw for kids who spend hours a day browsing other people’s profiles and stay up late designing their own?
For Emily, a freshman in high school in Virginia, social networking offers a glimpse into the lives of her peers, and a way to stay up on the newest trends. “People post their favorite colors, what music they’re listening to-it’s just fun to see what other people are into,” she says. Translation: teens like learning about other teens to find out what’s in and what’s out. Social networking is a way to get that information on a daily basis.
Social networking sites may be to today’s youth what tree houses, forts, or phones were to us: a place where kids can get away from their parents, be themselves, or pretend to be somebody else. For adults, understanding the reasons kids use these sites is an important first step in helping kids make safer, smarter choices online.
The Feeling of Being Liked
Tayler, a Washington State senior in high school, says she checks her profile frequently. “It’s that feeling of excitement that comes from seeing I have a message or comment waiting for me to read. It’s the feeling of being liked, I guess.”
For many young people, social networking can be an emotionally satisfying experience. When they leave comments or messages on friends’ pages, they usually get one in return, and it reinforces feelings of friendship and popularity. This can be especially powerful for shy youth, or those who feel uncomfortable or disconnected in social situations.
“I just moved here and don’t know that many people yet, so Facebook helps me keep in touch with my cousins and friends back home,” says 14-year-old Alec from Maryland.
Real Benefits, Real Consequences
Social networking is a tool to communicate with friends both near and far. It can also promote creativity and self-expression, sharpen communication and writing skills, and provide kids an opportunity to develop a personal identity and share it with others.
Online relationships can help kids overcome difficulties they might be having, whether it’s teenage angst or a more serious issue. There is always someone to talk to online, and the lack of face-to-face contact can make kids more comfortable opening up to others.
But this is where the slippery slope begins-who are these “friends” they are opening up to? Do they know them in real life? Recognizing and addressing the potential risks can help make social networking a safer experience for children.
Simple Steps to Safety
Friends lists. Many kids feel that their friends list is a reflection of their popularity, so they add people they don’t really know in order to gain status. Privacy settings can keep strangers from accessing profiles-but if kids add people they don’t know as their friends, they’re giving away access to personal information. Teach them to have a “friend policy” and not to add people they don’t know in real life to their friends lists.
Blogs. The term comes from “Web log” and refers to a journal or personal essay, an online diary of sorts. Blogs are popular with kids, and most social networking sites have space to create a blog. Unfortunately, not everyone reading about a child’s personal feelings, frustrations, and dreams has the best intentions in mind. Predators can use a child’s insecurities or ambitions to bond with the child, and potentially coax him or her into an in person meeting.
A good rule of thumb for a teen: if you don’t want just anyone reading your journal or diary, it shouldn’t be posted online.
Photos and videos. According to the Teen Internet Safety Survey, Wave II, 64 percent of teens post photos or videos of themselves. Often, kids don’t realize that they’re inadvertently putting themselves at risk with the images they post online-street signs, a license plate in the background, or a school name can give away a child’s location. Kids are also posting sexually provocative or inappropriate pictures of themselves to “be adult” or get attention. They may not realize that anyone can save their picture and use it to exploit or embarrass them. Kids should never post a picture that they wouldn’t want posted around their school for anyone to see.
The bottom line: keep talking. That same survey found that children whose parents talk to them about online safety are more likely to exhibit responsible online behavior. Real-life consequences can be serious; let’s help kids avoid the potential risks of social networking by opening up the lines of communication.
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Candace Bahk is the Content Manager for the NetSmartz Workshop with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
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