Gary Brill, father of this issue’s Youth Voices columnist Madison, has some tips for parents, based on his own experience living with an Internetsavvy kid.
Would you read your child’s diary, listen in on their phone conversions, or follow them when they leave the house to see what they were doing? With today’s computers and technology, you can do these things and more. You can easily read your child’s e-mails, monitor their Instant Messages, view their internet history, check their MySpace or Facebook pages, read their Blogs-you can even go as far as tracking their movement with a GPS in their phone.
The BIG question is: should you? Most of us live in homes where children know as much or more than their parents about computers. Should a parent be fearful of what they don’t know? Is it fair to the child to have stricter rules just because the parent is not computer literate?
Here are some tips for parents/ guardians and other adults:
- Ask yourself, what did my parents do? What were the consequences of my behavior? Bring this luggage to the table, discuss it with your kids.
- If you are not computer literate, learn or ask other parents. It should be one of the most topical conversations you have with other parents.
- Get involved early with your child, and listen when they ask for additional privileges. Don’t make them fearful to have an open conversion with you.
- Learn from your children. If they ask to do something you’re not familiar with, go online and learn. Ask your child if you can talk to other friends who are doing what your child wants to do. Speak to their parents.
- Test the waters with a trail period. Tie the additional privileges to doing more chores around the house; take the privileges away if they don’t behave. Remember, just because you agreed to one request, doesn’t mean you have to agree to the next.
- Be proactive; when you read about a new computer trend ask your child about it. The old adage is true: trust works both ways. If you constantly accuse your child of doing something they have not done, they may eventually feel compelled to just go ahead and do it if they’re being blamed for it anyway. (Does that logic ring any bells from your childhood?)
- Gary Brill lives with his family in New York City
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